Ariana Grande is still struggling to cope with the memory of the deadly bomb attack which rocked her Dangerous Woman tour last year, confessing the horror plays out in her mind every day.
A terrorist detonated the homemade device in the foyer of the Manchester Arena in Manchester, England as fans left Ariana’s show there on 22 May, 2017, killing 23 people, and as the first anniversary of the tragedy looms, the singer reveals she has yet to recover from the incident.
“There are so many people who have suffered such loss and pain. The processing part is going to take forever,” she laments to Time magazine as part of the publication’s Next Generation Leaders issue.
Calling the atrocity an example of “the absolute worst of humanity”, Ariana adds, “Music is supposed to be the safest thing in the world. I think that’s why it’s still so heavy on my heart every single day. I wish there was more that I could fix.”
Grande halted her world tour immediately after the bomb attack and then bounced back with her star-studded One Love Manchester benefit concert, which she staged in a bid to help victims of the horrible attack heal.
Although she is glad she stood up to terrorism by hosting the show, the 24-year-old admits the psychological damage on her and everyone at the show will linger for years.
“That’s why I did my best to react the way I did (by staging the benefit concert),” she explains. “The last thing I would ever want is for my fans to see something like that happen and think it (terrorism) won. You think with time it’ll become easier to talk about, or you’ll make peace with it, but every day I wait for that peace to come and it’s still very painful.”
Ariana channeled her pain into song, recording her new track No Tears Left to Cry, released last month, as an anthem of empowerment.
“When I started to take care of myself more, then came balance, and freedom, and joy,” she says. “It poured out into the music.”